I found myself completely frozen. Unable to move forward or backwards. Incapable of doing anything but a frustrating tap dance between two choices. For someone who is hyperactive, & prides herself on being decisive, it was a powerless walk underwater.            

Everything was blurry, muted & mired.

I remember being very good at playing devil's advocate in school, always able to formulate a convincing argument from two points of view. Turns out, that particular skill is definitely not always an asset when faced with personal choices, especially when they're forced on you in an untimely manner.

I kept making lists of the pros & cons. Asking people I trusted to give me their take. Researching options & consequences that seemed viable. All good ideas that function well as part of the decision-making process. 

This time, though, it simply wasn't working. 

Finally, I was so exhausted from all the overwrought thinking, that I just threw up my hands in despair. I didn't have any more ideas or energy to add to the operation. The only decision I could make at that point, was to walk away for a while.

Turns out, I inadvertently discovered something that I could only have learned by being overwhelmed. That sometimes you can't force your hand, you just have to let the hand play out. Since you're not in control of everything, pushing hard can counter-productive & just adds to the confusion. 

Needless to say, if I hadn't been cornered, I...Read More
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